Letter to Samuel

Before we buried our darling little Samuel, we put a few things in his casket. Dan and I both hand wrote him a letter and Luke contributed the little stuffed lamb he brought for Samuel the day he met him at the hospital. Below is my letter. I know he will never be able to read it, but I believe some way, some how God can communicate our messages back to the people who now live with Him in heaven. My letter was also shared during the services at Samuel's funeral.

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My Beloved Samuel,

How your time with mommy and daddy was so short and sweet. We couldn't be more proud of you for staying so incredibly strong during the 9 months of our pregnancy and enduring the harshness of my quick and intense labor. Despite all the odds, I just have to say "you DID it!" You made it into this world alive! You fought off your condition that was not meant for the boundaries on this earth to sustain your little life. 1 in 10,000 were your chances to be conceived and sustain a live birth. And you defied these odds! Your daddy and I couldn't be more happy or proud. We are so incredibly grateful to have met you, to know you if only for such a short time, to have the ability to hug you, caress your soft cheeks, kiss your little hands and feet and tell you how much we love you.

You made such a huge impression on so many people and most of all me. You are our precious gift, God has blessed our family with in so many ways. He gave you to us to fulfill His glory, to fill our hearts with so much joy and love, and to teach us so many things.

You taught me what it means to fight when all the odds are stacked against you.

You taught me how to love beyond the depths of where my heart did not know it could reach.

You taught me that nothing of this world is more important than the moments we have with loved ones at this very day, hour and minute.

Thank you for these lessons and your courage and will to live for those 33 wonderful minutes. I couldn’t have asked for anything more in you. You were beautiful and perfect in every way. One day we will be together again, one day in heaven where you are now strong and flourishing in Jesus' arms. I look forward to that day where we can be together again.

I wanted to share some things I learned about you with loved ones they may or may not have known while you were living here with us inside my tummy:

1) In the late stages of our pregnancy which most likely would have been your newborn routine- you were a morning person (like me)… you went to sleep early but often woke up around 10-11pm for a little exercise.

2) You loved sweets (like your brother) and you let me know this often. Even with the diet restrictions placed on me, we managed to fit some in from time to time as long as we paired it with protein. I think you really appreciated that because that was when you were the most active.

3) You had the hiccups a lot! I think this meant that you were doing everything in your power to imitate the act of breathing in my tummy so that you would be strong enough to do this in front of mommy and daddy once you were born. Practice makes perfect right? Thanks for practicing this incredible feat and doing everything in your power to be strong and hold on to your life so that we had the incredible opportunity to meet you!

We love you so much little guy,

Mommy